Michelle:
Welcome to Ritual Sisters, the podcast where your hosts and fellow travelers, Michelle and Kelly, explore the ways that ritual can help you feel better through the ups and downs of life. So let's take a deep breath, and start this journey together.

Kelly:
Hello, ritual fam! We are back for another episode, and we are so jazzed to welcome Domita Sanchez, a talented drag entertainer with over 11 years of experience. She has made her mark on the drag community as a full-time performer. A proud member of the Saddle Gurls cast, Domita also performs on show cast at Lush Lounge and Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

In 2023, Domita had the honor of starring as Lola in Kinky Boots at the Des Moines Playhouse and opened for pop sensation Chappell Roan on two occasions!! She was crowned Miss Gay USofA in November 2017 and has been voted City View's best local Drag Queen of Des Moines. Most recently, she was one of the headliners at Capital City Pride, continuing to make her mark as a powerhouse in the drag and performing arts scene. Welcome Domita - We are very excited about today's conversation with you!

Domita:
Hello!! How’s it going?? Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited - I’m so excited to be here, I haven't done a podcast in a while.

Michelle:
Well, we’re honored.

Domita: 
I’m very excited to do this.

Kelly:
We've so been looking forward to this.

Domita:
Yes. And I also had to figure out what Mountain Time was.

Audible Laughter 

Michelle:
I was laughing because Kelly put Mountain Time and Eastern Time and I was like, wait, Kelly, you didn't even put her time zone in this.

Domita:
I'm screaming 

Kelly:
That's amazing. Yes. Thank you so much. For yeah, we are here. We're all together.

Domita:
And I said I was about to drive out to y'all. I said, what time should I be there? Okay. Everything makes sense.

Audible Laughter 

Michelle:
Well, Domita, tell us a little bit about yourself. And we always ask our guests, what season of life are you in right now?

Domita:
Ooh, I am, I would say I'm in the season of self-love, growth, and working on mental health. That is the big - that is the biggest thing right now. And hi there, I'm Domita Sanchez. I like you said I'm a full-time drag entertainer. I work mostly here in Des Moines, Iowa, and Minneapolis, Minnesota. I drive back and forth like every other weekend. I just started getting back into doing live stuff. Kinky Boots was kind of my how would you say that? Like kind of my stepping stone back into doing theater and live singing. And now I'm working at Noche Jazz Club here in Des Moines doing two live shows - one cabaret show and another show called the Domita Show, where you get to see the first act, me as Travis, out of drag, and then the second act is me in drag as Domita. And on my off days, I'm just usually working on new music, working on costumes, adulting, and just kind of trying to find what I love now at age 33.

Kelly:
So incredible what you were saying earlier, Demita, with focusing on self-love and mental health. And how like how has that journey been for you so far? Cause, you know, Michelle and I know that that's incredibly deep work.

Domita:
Yes. it's been a roller coaster and the word, if I say this correctly, the word linear linear has been yes, has been in my vocabulary a lot because things are non-linear. just like a roller coaster. I said, I love me some roller coasters, but mental health is a roller coaster and

You have a lot of good days and a lot of bad days, but the thing that you have to remember at the end of the day is like you're doing the work, you know. no matter how hard it gets, you gotta keep doing the work because it will get better.

Kelly:
Yeah. Mm. So beautifully said. Yeah, it will get better. Hmm. So our next question for you is how did you discover your drag persona and how has dra your drag career evolved?

Domita:
My goodness. So I always tell my little life story. So growing up, I used to dance around the house in my mom's apron. And at one point, I think my parents got me this hat. I called it my girl hat, and it was like a faux leather hat with a ratty ponytail going up. 

Audible Laughter

Kelly:
Yes

Domita:
And so remember this for later. But I believe it was a Janet Jackson hat. I think. Okay. And so love playing dress up, love dancing around the house. Fast forward to college, I bought a wig and a dress from like Target or something and was just running around my college dorm room dancing to Beyoncé with my friends. And my best friend Bo was just like, oh my gosh, you have to do drag. You should do drag. I said, “no, I'm too scared. I can't ever.” And the wig I bought, every wig has a name. And the wig I bought was named “Damita Jo.” And this is - this is wild. This is wild. This is wild! Because Damita Jo is Janet Jackson's alter ego. And she has, yeah, she has an album called Damita Jo, which I had no idea about this. I had no idea. 

So fast forward a little more and I moved to Des Moines. I met a drag queen and she was like, “I wanna put you in drag. You should do an open stage.” And I finally was like, okay, let's do it. Let's try it. I had a Beyoncé mix that I just - a mega mix that I made for no reason. And I said, “we're gonna perform this.” And so she painted me. I looked crazy, but I said we're gonna do drag for the first time. And I got on stage, loved it. I wrote down the name Domita Diva.

And spelled Domita wrong. It's actually spelled D-A-M-I-T-A, but I spelled it D-O-M-I-T-A. And that's how I got my name. And I loved doing drag ever since, never stopped since that day. And it went amazingly.

Michelle:
Love yeah, like the people that encourage you along the way. 

Domita:
Yes. And I didn't even like - I hated the name Domita Diva and my friend Bo was just like “Domita Diva, Domita Diva.”

Audible Laughter 
 
And I said, I don't like this. And that's what I wrote down. And now I can say I've had two Janet Jackson wigs in different decades.

Kelly:
The synchronicity of that with the album and oh my goodness, powerful.

Domita: 
Isn’t that crazy?? 

Kelly:
Yes!

Domita:
So crazy. But yeah. And then after open stage kept performing, just fell in love with it, did a pageant, started working on Showcast at the Garden Nightclub. And then it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And now it's my full time job. And it's crazy. I never imagined doing drag full time. So yeah.

Michelle:
What percentage of drag performers do you think are full time? I feel like that's rare.

Domita:
I think it is a very small percentage because it is a hard thing to do. I still don't understand how it happens for me, but I will say I will forever be hustling. The hustle is real! So outside of just performing, I'm also making drag mixes for people, making costumes for people, rhinestoning for people - so always just working and making sure I can survive while doing what I love.

Michelle:
Yeah. We were just kind of talking about that, just, how much effort it can be to put creativity out there and how discouraging it can be at times.

Domita:
Yeah. But I think it's - it's such a rewarding thing to be able to say like I do my dream job of performing. I've always wanted to be a performer, in any aspect, and drag fell into my arms and or my lap or whatever. And it happened and the people who are doing it full time like it is a hard job, but like it's so worth it.

Kelly:
Mm-hmm. Michelle and I were saying too, just the transformation of being in creative energy and how we move through the world differently when we're tapped into that. And Domita, yeah, you are such a perfect example of that. I mean, how incredible to be doing this full-time and helping others be in their creative energy.

Domita:
Yeah, it's been really fun the last few years stepping into that Grandma Domita role. 

Audible Laughter

A lot of entertainers - so we have drag families and stuff. So I have a drag mom and I have drag children, but also a lot of entertainers now call me TT, like I’m their auntie. And that has been kind of just a really cool thing to be able to just give advice and help people better their craft because I love - it makes me so happy and brings me so much joy to see people succeeding and we need drag to be around forever and want people to do good of their art.

Michelle:
Well, we also ask everyone here, what is your relationship to ritual and ceremony?

Domita:
Okay, what is your - I want your definition of this. I was thinking about this. I said, give me your definition.

Audible Laughter 

Michelle:
It's something we're always defining and redefining. But basically anything that any little small act or large act that just kind of grounds you, creates a little bit more intention, helps you to shift into different mindsets or different emotional states, helps to process transitions, like all that kind of stuff.

Domita:
Yeah, so for drag, the transformation happens for me when the lashes go on. Like when the lashes are on, Domita’s there, right? And then we put on the wig, the costume, and everything. And that's where I'm like, Travis is out of the picture now, you know? And then before every show, I will - I have my things where I have to stretch because I am very high energy. I like to jump into the splits and throw my body all the way around. So we got to stretch. Everybody, everybody stretch every day!

Kelly:
Truly!

Michelle:
Especially in your thirties it becomes more and more important.

Kelly:
Very much so.

Domita:
Yes. And fun fact, off topic, you can be as flexible as you want at any age. You just have to stretch. I love that. So I will always be able to do the splits. So I stretch, get ready, and then I always, almost every show before the show, we all get together as a cast and I will say my funny little group of words before the show.

And then right before I enter the stage, I always have to say, I always like do this weird thing with my hands and always have to say, “have fun, be stupid, have fun, be stupid,” because we're just we're lip syncing to other people's music and it’s not that serious. We're just having a good time. We're here to entertain people, we're here to bring joy to people, and that's what we're doing.

Kelly:
I love that and so intimate knowing the hand rub and wow.

Domita:
I don't know where this came from. It's like - I just started doing it one day and I'm like, it's weird.

Audible Laughter 

Michelle:
But that's what they say about ritual. It's like if you don't do it, how do you feel? There's clearly something there where if you're not doing that, it just doesn't feel right. And that's a sign that that's a ritual.

Domita:
Well, and now in this moment of working on mental health and self-love and working through anxiety, there's sometimes where - there's not time to do my little - let's get the whole cast together and say this thing. Sometimes I'm just like, I'm still getting ready. I gotta run onto the stage. And I have to remind myself that it's okay that we didn't do that today. It's not gonna change anything of the performance. We have to trust ourselves and just remind ourselves that we love what we're doing. I love what I'm doing. I'm here to have fun. I'm here to put on a show. And it doesn't matter if I do this little thing or not.

Michelle:
Yeah. Have the intention, but also the flexibility behind it too.

Domita:
Absolutely.

Kelly:
Right, back to the stretching. I love this as a metaphor. Like also, yes, do your stretches, but such a metaphor of like, yes, you can become more flexible in life, right? Physically and mentally. So thank you, Domita.

Domita:
Yeah, absolutely. Call me TT.

Audible Laughter 

Kelly:
Thank you, TT!

Kelly:
Alright everyone, we are gonna get into this a little bit. So Domita, we are wondering, what are aspects of drag culture that people might not know about?

Domita:
Ooh, that's a fun question! That is a very fun question. I host most of the shows that I'm in. I am the lady on the mat, the mic. And one fun thing I love about doing that is letting the audience in on behind the scenes things. Because - coming in as an audience member, I think everyone is always like, I wonder what happens backstage, you know? And I love letting down that layer of seriousness and being like, yeah, we were just talking about that backstage, you know? 

And something really fun is getting to get ready with other drag performers and just learning about what's going on in their life. That doesn't happen as much as it used to, because we used to be in, you know, communal spaces and getting ready together, but now a lot of people get ready at home or we're in a venue where we have our own dressing rooms like that. Something that is fun and I think about is when you get to get ready next to somebody and talk and get to know their life, you get to bring that with you to being on the microphone and MCing. Like you're gonna be like, I just learned that so and so just won a national title and I wanna talk about that and celebrate that on the microphone. Different things like that. Like you're backstage, you're learning about these people that you're working with because you're always working with a different showcast each show. And I think that's really fun.

Michelle:
I feel like you've touched on that a little bit, just that it feels like such a community based art form. That's really cool.

Domita:
Definitely. And yeah, it's - I love to say that when I'm in a show, when I'm working, I love to show up, enjoy the people I'm working with, and go home.

Kelly:
Yeah. Wow. Those memories feel really special - the behind the scenes. And how nice for the audience, yeah, to bring that in a little bit. Because you're right - yeah, there is such a curiosity of what's happening backstage.

Domita:
Yes. And in the drag world it’s so fun to see all the different types of drag now. Drag is basically something that you can make whatever you want. Like you can do drag however you want. And I think that's so cool because it's just, it's just evolved so much and drag's been around forever, you know. And I think it's just so cool to just see the different styles that people come with and the different ideas people have for numbers and concepts and everything. And I think that's just so beautiful that we all get to share our art with each other.

Michelle:
Yeah. And you've already touched on even just what you do, you're talking about music production and making costumes and performing and hosting and lip syncing and like yeah, there's just such a diversity of different things you can do within the world of drag.

Domita:
Yeah. And the fun thing is like when you first start out, I remember like I don't do this much now, but I remember when I first started drag that I would try all these different types of numbers out. And sometimes I'm going back, when I'm searching through music, deciding what I want to do. Sometimes I listen to some of my old mixes and I'm just like, what was this concept? What was this idea I had? I could never perform this right now.

Audible Laughter 

And I said, what was I thinking? But it's yeah, like there's so much creativity when you first start out and that's so cool to see. I don't know where I was going with that, but…

Michelle:
Would be a fun idea for a show of like going back to your old mixes and trying to make it work. That would be funny.

Domita:
Yeah. And I was gonna say, sorry. I feel like I've been in so many different eras of drag and so many different worlds. And it's really cool to be a part of all of those spaces. Like, you know, there's the, you know, regular weekend show or brunch kind of world. There's the drag pageant world, there's the ballroom world, like there's so many different types of worlds in the drag community and it's fun to be a part of different ones, you know?

Kelly:
Mm-hmm. Is there something your drag self knows or says that your everyday maybe slash Travis self sometimes forgets?

Domita:
Ooh yes. Yes, this is so real. I think it is confidence. When I am Domita, I feel so much more confident. I could literally walk up to anybody and say hello or be flirty or whatever while I'm in drag and not even what's the saying like bat and eye blink or whatever. 

Kelly:
Oh, bat an eye.

Domita:
Play baseball with a bat. I don't know. 

Audible Laughter 

And then as Travis, I'm just like, where does that where does that go? Because I'm like, if I'm out of drag, I'm terrified to walk up to anybody, you know? And sometimes I have to remind myself, hey, same person. Hello. It's just - the only difference is there's way less makeup on your face right now. So we have to remind ourselves of that and kind of just not be afraid to do that because every time you face a fear, it gets easier as time goes on.

Michelle:
I think that's huge. I think probably something that a lot of people can relate to, even that have never been in drag, but even just like the confidence you feel wearing sunglasses versus not, you know, it's sometimes those little things that happen to them.

Domita:
I remember even before I started drag, like, you know, Halloween or spring fling or homecoming week where we would do our dress up days, just wearing something different from what your everyday wear is, it gives you some sense of confidence. And I think that's such a cool feeling. Like, I love that!

Michelle:
So we also wanted to know if there're any standout moments from your performances that felt like they went beyond just like a performance, that they went into more of a sacred or healing or community space. Anything that stands out to you?

Domita:
Like a moment in my performance where it just felt more than just a performance?

Kelly:
Yes! Like kind of transcended.

Domita:
Yes, absolutely! I would say my Domita show that I talked about earlier, where I get to be both Travis and Domita in the same show. And this is just me with a 10-piece band. And I'm just singing and in between numbers, I obviously have to talk to the crowd and audience. 

And it's kind of a show that you get to see both sides of me and I get to talk a little bit about my life and my past. And then you get to see who I am now. And I believe it was the first show, at the end of the first act, I sing the song “I'm Here” from The Color Purple. And during that number, my music director put a solo section before the song like elevates and I will - I go put my lipstick on, I go put my earrings on, and I put my blush on, and then sing the rest of the song. And before that, I didn't have a script. And I'm just like, I'm just gonna talk about life and whatever. And I went on this whole speech about self-love and acceptance and how I grew up in a very religious, conservative family and after the whole girl hat moment - they did not want to accept me for being gay and they're just not accepting. And I talked about that, and I started crying on stage in front of everybody. And I don't - you don't see me cry ever. I am not a crier in front of people. And it was so - it was such an interesting feeling to actually feel those emotions in real time and let them out, and accept that moment. I realize that I'm just like, this show is really meaningful and beautiful. And it reminded me of the person I was before I started drag and that's the same person. Like me performing as Travis and me performing as Domita, same thing. And we've come so far in this journey and it's really cool that I get to show that in a show.

Michelle:
Yeah, I mean it kind of relates to the last question about finding that integration between the two sides of yourself.

Domita:
Yeah, absolutely.

Kelly:
Michelle, I was just thinking of the word integration. So that is - I love that you just said that. 

Audible Laughter 

Yeah, mind meld.

Domita, what was it like to be seen in that way? Like, did you get to talk to anyone in the audience, that feels really powerful.

Domita:
So I think it was the second time we did the Domita show. I invited my brother and he flew out to come see it. And it was just such a cool thing to have him in the audience, like an actual family member, and then also have chosen family in the audience. And it just - it was very healing. I felt the unconditional love that I deserve to have, you know. Yeah, it was just such a beautiful feeling, if that answered the question.

Kelly:
Yeah, it did.

We're so excited for this ritual section and to dive into this a little bit. So, Domita, what does your pre-show ritual look like? I know you mentioned the lashes, but we'd love to hear from makeup to mindset. What helps you for your pre-show ritual?

Domita:
Well, what I always love is - I kind of do the exact same thing every time I have to get into drag. Like it's just - it feels comfortable and it feels like okay, we might not have any surprises. And so I always give myself like probably two hours from start to finish and somehow it always works out in that time and I said I have the exact amount of time I need from shaving to walking on that stage. Yeah, that's about it. Like just kind of getting in the makeup and then stretching and then doing my little word things that I say, doing my hand things, “have fun, be stupid.” And then when they call my name, that anxiety goes away and like we are ready to go. Like I hear the audience cheering and I'm like, okay, the anxiety's gone, Domita's here, the light switch flips on and I'm just like, “Let's do it!”

Kelly:
Yes, that's electric.

Michelle:
Well, slightly different direction. We know you are going back and forth in Minneapolis and we saw that you were doing some cameos for mutual aid there - which is amazing. And so we were wondering about how you see drag and activism aligning.

Domita:
Absolutely. So I can say I struggle with how I'm like I wanna help and what the best way for me to use my voice and help. Drag entertainers or any artist or anybody who has a platform like has a voice and I believe in - I always say this like when people are preparing for a drag pageant, always play to your strengths. And you can take that into the real world too. And I said, I took a step back. I said, I want to help, but how do I help? And how do I play to my strengths? 

And I'm like, you know, I'm everybody's cheerleader. I'm everybody's cheerleader on the mic. I am all about being positive and lifting everybody up. And so in a time of uncertainty and when things are very scary and very real and all around us. That's where my strength lies is lifting people up. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I love making - anybody listening to this who has gotten a birthday video from me. I love sending little birthday videos, and it's usually right in the morning when I wake up. I look crazy, but I'm just like, I'm gonna lift you up. I'm gonna make sure you have the best birthday ever. 

And I'm like, how do we do this in real time for a good cause? And I'm like, I should make cameos. 

Audible Laugher 

And I said, this is such a fun idea! And when I posted that on social media, I got a bunch of requests and I just got to lift a bunch of people up and raise money for mutual aid.

Michelle:
Yeah, it was so cool to see. I mean, maybe it's still going on, but just during that time, like so many artists like coming through. It just so cool.

Domita:
Yeah, and like there is - here's linear. There is not one linear way to help. Everybody, you know, if we're all helping in the same way, there are so many other things that would be put on the back burner, and everybody has their different way of helping. And if we all play to our strengths, world peace.

Kelly:
World peace - Yes!

Audible Laughter 

Domita:
I wish. I wish!

Kelly:
I know!

Michelle:
But it also just like what you're speaking to of just the joy and the silliness of drag that it's yeah, it's just such a fun space to be in. I think you can really lean on that energy.

Domita:
Absolutely. And I love to bring it into my shows as well. Because like when there's so many things going on in our backyard and people are still coming out to the shows, it is our job to like, you know, hey, let's recognize what's going on. Let's not push it away, but also let's have a good time because we are allowed to have moments of grace and moments of joy and moments of community together, and that's so important.

Kelly:
So important to have those moments of joy. I'm really glad you're speaking to that. Yeah. And the play on strength. That is something I'm gonna repeat to myself. Yeah, play on our and each other's strengths. 

So, our last question for this section is: what's something that everyone can take from the art of drag and incorporate into their life?

Domita:
Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Being in drag is like if you're into Marvel or superhero movies or whatever, being in drag is like wearing your super suit. You put it on and you are unstoppable. So I think like figuring out what your version of your super suit is and taking that into the world. Whatever makes you feel the most confident and before you leave the house, feel that confidence and take that into the world.

Michelle:
That is such good advice. I love the image of the super suit.

Domita:
Yes. Where is my super suit?

Audible Laughter 

Michelle:
I love it. 

What about if people do want to actually experiment with drag? What would be a good place for people to start?

Domita:
I think always asking questions and you know, social media has obviously overtaken everything. There are so many outlets to work on your craft. Like you could type into, you know, you can type into the search bar and say, how do you cover your eyebrows? You can either shave them off like I do, or you can use a glue stick and glue them back on. You know, and I think that is a great thing. And also just asking questions, asking your elders, asking your TTs, your mothers, your fathers, you know. Asking for help and hoping that someone will guide you to get your start. 

My biggest thing for people starting out drag is perform as much as you can. Like you can sit in your room and try to perfect, perfect being a drag performer as much as you want, but actually going out and performing is the thing that's going to take you further. And like, you know, when I started out I had to perform for free for so long, you know, it was a hobby. That's what it is. And, but I got better and I kept growing, and now it's my full time job and it pays my bills, you know? And so I'm always like, do as many shows as you can, ask for help, look up tools to get better and keep practicing your craft and your art. Cause there's always room for growth. I will never stop working and never stop working to get better and better myself, in and out of drag.

Michelle:
So many nuggets of wisdom.

Kelly:
Yes. Thank you, TT! Yes. So much wisdom!

Audible Laughter 

Domita:
I’m screaming.

Michelle:
I think - we talk a lot on the podcast too, just about like internet and like, you know, just the double-edged sword of social media and the internet. And it's so nice that people have access to all this information that maybe 10 years ago you wouldn't have had. But then the other flip side of it is it's so easy to stay sequestered, and that's not how you grow, especially as a performer. You can't just be hiding in your own space and grow.

Domita:
Yeah, that's very true. Very true.

Michelle:
All right. Well this has been so lovely! You've shared so much wisdom with us. We are gonna stay on for a little while and ask some - we always say fun questions, but we do tend to go pretty deep also.

Kelly:
Yes. They're fun and deep.

Michelle:
So if you're on the Patreon, stick around and listen to more of this wonderful conversation. And if you're not, just go over there and do it anyways. Otherwise, wherever you're at, we hope that you're having a wonderful day.

Kelly:
Okay, bye everyone!

Domita:
Byeeeeeee!

Audible Laughter